Many thanks to Director of Public Relations at Compliance and Safety for the inspiration for this story by sending me this link! If you have a story suggestion, or would like to write your own, contact us here. See the nice email – click to enlarge!
Love As Deep As The OSHA
James Fackler let out a deep sigh, shook his head, and looked back at the computer screen. He was reading a blog piece emailed to him about the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or “OSHA”, as it was known in political circles.
“President Obama is often framed as a big spender, but does this narrative hold true for OSHA? It does indeed, with OSHA spending hitting record levels immediately after Obamas inauguration. OSHA is bigger than ever before, both in terms of funding and in terms of revenue generated from fining businesses. This is great news for working class citizens but not quite as exciting for business owners.”
By God, this article was good, even though there was a grammatical error in it, which was a little disconcerting. Really, James pondered, if someone is going to write an entire page on an important issue, hit “post” and then email it around to thousands of people, it might do some good to run it through a spell and grammar check. And the error involved the misuse of the possessive form of a singular noun – the President’s name no less. No matter. James was completely on board with what this article was saying. OSHA was killing him and business owners like him with these fines. And the more frequent random inspections? Too much.
James shook his head and sipped on a paper cup of overheated coffee. He was about to ask Cassie to make him a lunch reservation with his old Harvard pal Philip when he heard a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he huffed, barely glancing at the door as it opened.
“I hope it’s ok that I’m here without an appointment,” a soft voice murmured.
James spun around to find a young woman leaning up against the doorway, a huge, ratty trench coat wrapped around her body. She wasn’t exceptional looking – her messy brown hair was tied up in a loose bun; dark glasses adorned her face. Probably just one of those stragglers he’d seen outside his plant looking for work.
“Oh, hello,” James offered, standing up. “How may I help you?”
“May I sit?” The Woman queried, motioning towards the seat in front of James’ desk.
“Of course,” James replied as he strolled along to the front of the desk and leaned back. “What can I help you with?”
“Well, this is hard for me…”
“Please, go on.”
“My brother died a few months ago from a workplace injury at one of your plants.” The Woman bent her head down before speaking again. “Tommy Figgs, do you remember him?
James shook his head as he spoke, “Can’t say I do. I mean, there are so many employees at my plant I can’t really remember them all.”
“But… you’d remember a dead one.”
“No offense but I’m a busy man…” James was cut off by The Woman.
“Fuck..me..,” The Woman said as she jumped up.
“I… I’m sorry that came out wrong.” James jumped up and turned to grab a tissue from his desk when he felt a hand press hard on his lower back.
“I said, fuck me,” a hot voice whispered in his ear. The Woman was directly behind him. James stood, hands atop his desk, slightly bent over. Surely she was crazy! James had always considered himself to be an attractive man, but it wasn’t like women were throwing themselves at him…
Two hands grabbed his shoulders firmly and swung him around. He looked at her, this Woman, who now stood before him naked. She had released her hair from the restrictive bun, taken off the trench coat and removed her glasses. My God she was… beautiful! How could he not have noticed before?
“You can stare all you want but you have to fuck me.”
“But… what’s the…”
“I want you to know what it’s like to put a hard day’s work in under insecure working conditions. So tonight, when your factory closes, I want you to meet me in your plant. Be prepared to work overtime.”
“This is absurd! It’s the holiday season and I have a family!”
“I don’t care,” The Woman snapped. “Besides, if you don’t, I’ll take this photo straight to the media.” The Woman held her iPhone up to James’s flushed face. On the screen was a photo of him bent over his desk with The Woman naked, making a lewd gesture with a phallice she had somehow whipped out for the picture.
“You’ll never get away with this,” James hissed.
“Oh, I think I just did.” The Woman grinned mischievously and wrapped the trench coat back on, pulled her hair up and threw on the glasses. Why, she was homely again! James thought, as he curiously studied this little chameleon.
“I’ll meet you at your plant down the street at 8:00 tonight. No need for a hard hat. I hear you skimped on those this year for most of your staff. I’d hate it if we had to have something large fall on your head.”
She shut the door behind her.
James walked aimlessly through the now empty plant littered with forklifts and boxes. It was night, and he had made sure everyone went home on time. The employees were all so… grateful. One woman even gave him a hug. How odd, James thought. If that’s all it took to make his employees happy…
Suddenly, he heard a whoosh followed by a crack and before he knew it, James fell to the floor in excruciating pain. He saw blood seeping out of his pant leg. James looked up suddenly when he heard the footsteps of The Woman walking towards him. Her hair was down, her glasses off, and instead of a trench coat she wore a tight latex top and bottom. She looked hot again. But James was in pain…
“What the hell was that for,” he yelled.
“Get up,” The Woman demanded.
“But I’m bleeding!”
The Woman knelt down, whip in hand. She placed a finger under James’s chin and tilted his head up to meet hers.
“Two years ago you made Rick Hardworth work with a cut on his leg. If he had gotten medical attention, even a band-aid, they’d have to write it up in a report and it would bring down your impeccable safety record. He had to work all day with a cut leg and you will too.”
Before he knew it, The Woman wrapped the whip around his back and under his armpits, pulling him up.
“See that room over there in the corner where those steel drums are piled up in a hazardous manner that goes against several safety codes?”
“Yes,” James said. He knew exactly which room she was talking about.
“That’s where you’ll fuck me. Except I get to wear this.” The Woman whipped out a very large hard hat.
“But they’ll fall on top of me!”
“That’s how my brother got injured… the first time. You can leave once you get me off.”
James hated to admit it, but he was damn excited. He immediately shed his clothes and practically ran into the cold room, The Woman walking behind him. She sat herself up on a drum, pulled off her latex bottom and looked down at him.
“I want to do a good job.”
“I like that work ethic.”
With that The Woman grabbed James’s waist and shoved his torso in between her legs. He gasped with exquisite pleasure as he felt the tip of his manhood touch her welcoming, warm moist lips. She thrust him towards her, harder and harder, until he felt her come on his cock. She screamed so hard with every shuddering climax that The Woman threw her head back, causing the already shaky pile of steel drums to rattle. James looked up and before he could say anything, The Woman leapt off of him as a lone drum crashed down on his torso.
“Are you okay?” The Woman was standing over his naked body, sprawled on the ground, pinned by the heavy steel.
“I’m ok, I just can’t… quite get up…”
“Shhhh. Someone will be here to help you tomorrow.”
“What?” James struggled to push the drum off but it was too heavy. “I need your help!”
The Woman pulled her pants back on, and grabbed her trench coat from behind a box and slipped it on. She spoke to James as she pulled her hair back and placed glasses on her face. Dammit she wasn’t hot again. How did she do that?
“Listen, James, do you know how many workers at your plant end up in your same exact position just because your plants don’t meet OSHA guidelines?”
“I won’t complain about OSHA again, I swear!”
“Shhh…” The Woman placed a finger on James’s lips. “You’ll be fine. Someone will be here around 8am I think, and they’ll help you. That’s twelve hours from now – I told you you’d have to work overtime.”
“But… I didn’t even get to climax with you.”
The Woman turned towards the door.
“Work isn’t always fun, James.”
The Woman turned back curiously.
“Can I see you again sometime?”
The Woman grinned, pivoted, and strode out of the plant.